Spongebob and the buroo

Lums,

I came across this on myaveragelife.com

"Today, I learned that the characters from Spongebob are supposed to represent the seven deadly sins: Patrick for Sloth, Squidward for Wrath, Sandy for Pride, Mr Krabs for Greed, Gary for Gluttony, Plankton for Jealousy, and Spongebob for Lust"

Now , if thats true, what does it mean? It can only mean

Nickolodean is a cog in some massive papal conspiracy or something? Look at the picture, he's even trying on a cardinals hat. The St Nick schedules will be worth a watching in future.

Dora the Explorer of the Heathen Hinterland

Iron Man: Armoured Transubstantiation Adventures

Jimmy Neutron-Choir Boy Genius

Fairly Odd Protestant Parents

Blues Clues to the differences between Roman Breviary and The Liturgy of Hours

and

Sabrina the teenage witch MUST BURN

My first day unemployed and a being drain on the nations sparse resources. Today was the day i signed on.

I have no car of course, so i can now boast my green eco-credentials and tut-tut at the filthy cars and selfish road hogs of Kirkintilloch town centre. My bike, which has hardly turned a wheel since I got it in the summer is going to be the favoured mode of getting about , that and of course public transport, which I'm sure New Labour has gotten sorted out since the last time I was on a bus in 1989. I expect there will be a bus a minute, taking you to exactly where you want to go, silently speeding along designated lanes and not stopping for anyone in a tracksuit who looks older than 15, and certainly no-one in fake Uggs and pyjamas.

So biked it into town, and immediately met my first challenge of this quest, finding the job centre. I pedalled up and down the main street looking in the usual places, next door to the post office, over by the park, nope, wasn't there. Silly me, it'll be next door to two bookies shops. It wasn't there either. I had to ask directions and chose the shop I just happened to be next to. A hardware store thats been credit crunched and is in the process of closing down, RESULT. Part of the process it would seem is for it to virtually throw up its stock for rock bottom prices, so I got a sturdy bike lock for £2.50 and I'm going back tomorrow to pick over the bones and try and get an electric sander.

So bike lock in hand, and directions to job centre secured, I eased my self into the dirty, choking traffic. I was a little nervous by this time for some reason, afraid of the unknown perhaps, or just distant memories of Thatchers job centres, anyway, eventually found the place up this tiny, obscure street that you really had to know about. Its probably a government tactic to put you off claiming.

I spent 5 minutes figuring out how to lock my bike to the lamppost, which was 4 minutes longer than I spent in the place. I just breezed in, trying to look like a thrusting young executive keen to browse through the latest management positions at the UKs major blue-chips, and I was virtually rugby tackled by the security guard and a stern looking little woman who instructed me to wait at the reception to be seen. The same women then went away, but didn't do anything, just went away, then came back again and gave me a phone number to phone to register and have an appointment made, "where we will discuss what their expectations are of me". Their expectations of me. WTF, what about my expectations of them, I shall have to prepare some and present them at my meeting.

So, the upshot is, i didn't even get in, it was like some Gentlemen's Club in The Mall thats invitation only. The Garrick for those at the bottom of life's ladder rather than the top.

I went to see The Lovely Bones at the weekend and I'm still struggling to decide what I made of it. 3 days later I'm still thinking about it. I had no problem with the acting, which was great, the cinematography also was nice. There was a pale, washed out look to most of it, and full vibrant colour used for the fantasy sections which worked well enough. My biggest problem I think was believing that a 13 year old girl would be naive enough to do what she did. But maybe I'm looking at it with the perspective of the day. It was set in the early 70s and I guess the world was a more naive place then, things just weren't talked about. Of course we were told not to talk to strangers, but nobody told us what might happen if we did.

I,m looking for investors for a new internet start-up venture. Custom design you own pie and have it delivered anywhere in the world wide web of reality. We shall call it .....MY-PY. send cheques to my paypal account.

Lang may yer lum reek