CGI and the Russian barbershop

Don't know how my hairdresser ended up in this pic,
is that a rouble spinning machine she working 

So , Friday the 13^th.  I could have stayed under the duvet all day, but I like to live perilously, so out I went into the city, cradled in fates fragile clasp.   

A haircut was on the ever expanding list of things to get done, and I thought, whats the worst that can happen at a barbers, its not like I have flowing locks and an upcoming modelling assignment.  I am undeniably follicly challenged so it’s the same haircut for me every time, even when the hairdresser says, “What would you like” like there are options.   I’m sure they just say that to rub it in, a reminder that all the years of training at Snip Camp are wasted on the likes of me.   

Sometimes I like to say, "well, I thought the Thor look would suit my face,  but then, tell you what, just the usual, the number 1 all over".   

You shouldn’t be experimenting with hair anyway at my age, even if I did have enough to go round and do something with, I reckon I would just say the same.  You don’t see George Clooney with new locks do you.  They should of course be grateful it only takes like 10 minutes at most to cut my hair, which puts their hourly rate up there with astronauts and plumbers.   

I’ve started going to a shabby little shop just around the corner,  its shared with a man that has a sewing machine and there is a constant stream of women coming in to get their aprons mended or whatever.  The hairdressers though are all Russian or similar.   One of them, a generously proportioned lady, with yellow hair has a very distinct aroma, its either night before vodka, or maybe some kind of thinning agent but either way it suggests a darker side. Maybe up all night manning a Russian gangsters forgery press.   The good thing of course about Russian hairdressers, even if the opportunity is fleeting, is that there is no pointless conversation.  So "do you have holidays booked this year?" , or, " you on holiday today?" or ooh, i could go a holiday!"  None of that thank the Gods, their instincts are so intent in adding their own little bit to the next tractor coming down the line. 

I’m loving Camden Market, its got a huge eclectic collection of stuff to browse around, every taste catered for, I even managed to find a stall selling deep fried Mars Bars and other chocolatey battered confectionery.  I had a deep fried cream egg, just to try it out you understand, that and I thought people would think I was just munching down a chicken ball from the Chinese.  Verdict was actually favourably, sweet obviously, but the warm melting chocolate was a nice contrast to the cooler fondant, and it all worked rather well, if you forget the fact its come out a deep fat frier. 

Oh, you want a basin?
It must have been that prawn cocktail. 

 I passed the billboard for the new CGI fest, Wrath of Titans which promises to be all shit and sandals.   Judging by the poster its even got a big two headed ill-defined monster, vomiting what appears to be carrot and coriander soup all over the shop.  Not pleasant admittedly, I certainly wouldn’t want to clean it up, but come on Titans, you must be able to do better than that.  

Mind you, with the John Carter movie flopping, and Titans not getting its money back in short shrift, I think the old sword and monster epic has had its day, I predict we wont be seeing any of them again for a while.   

CGI is good when its done well,  when it augments and enhances reality, like the battle scenes in LOTR where without CGI you would never appreciate the scale,  but I’m tired of these designers coming up with daft looking monsters.   Avatar had big beasts with 6 legs, why would they have 6 legs, what quirk in evolution would make 6 legs better than 4 for a big liony-rhinoceros type thing.   

I'm not saying wheels are an evolutionary abomination,
I'm just saying, I cant get up the fckin stairs

If they had had wheels I could understand.  I think in a million or so years, if we are still here, we might have developed wheels or something, they will grow out of or big lazy flabby bum cheeks.  

It’ll start off as muscle development from all the sitting and sedentary lifestyles we live, because we’ll start to shuffle about on them,  its so much less effort to stand up after all, these shuffling muscles will eventually grow and mutate in to little casters......... probably, and  as the speedier shufflers get all the girls and doughnuts those will develop into full spoked, gleaming blinging rims bitches, probably with a nice set of chromed spinners setting the whole thing off.

Anyway, look at the time now, its taken me all day, believe it or not, to put this together, and I havent had any noticeable bad luck or obvious misfortune, so 

Lang may yer lum reek.