A right reeking new year to you both,
I've started writing this on the train south, heading back to Mt Olympus. The train is packed out, like one of those you see in India with people squatting on the roof and clinging like limpets to the side as the telegraph poles brush past their arse.
I have a seat though, I pitched up early as soon as I realised I had no seat reservation, in fact, because of my ungainly canter along the platform I was first on the train and had my pick of pews in the unreserved carriage. It wasn't until I attempted to reach the canteen car that I realised how bad it was.
There were people stuffed everywhere, standing, sitting, lying wherever they could, with suitcases, bodies and bags blocking every door and passageway. I struggled through for a flapjack and a latte and nipped into the toilet on the way back, the 3rd world travel experience was reinforced in there. The sink was full of water which meant that it slopped over the side every time the train rounded a corner or in fact moved at all, flooding the floor and seeping out into the passage. I pitied the squatters huddled around the door as I exited, they've probably paid a hundred pounds for this experience.
Its that time of year when we're encouraged to consider resolutions and self improvement plans, in a hope the coming year will actually see something achieved. Mine are simple enough, lose some of my 14 stones of weight, a stone and a half to be precise, and balance the books.
I'm going to achieve the first by sticking to a low carb diet, cutting out bread, potatoes, rice and pasta. Easier said than done when you rely on convenience food at work, its all sandwiches, pasta salads and shit that fills you up for an hour.
The second I will attempt by judicially noting every pound of spend and hopefully that will depress me so much I'll be happier locking myself in the flat rather than go anywhere spendy, like The Slug and Lettuce.
Oh, nearly forgot the most important one, bear in mind I'll be out of a job about the same time the final Olympic closing ceremony firework falls back to earth, I need to GET A JOB.
Lang may yer lum reek.
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| The Glasgow-London Darjeeling Express, there's room for a small one |
I have a seat though, I pitched up early as soon as I realised I had no seat reservation, in fact, because of my ungainly canter along the platform I was first on the train and had my pick of pews in the unreserved carriage. It wasn't until I attempted to reach the canteen car that I realised how bad it was.
There were people stuffed everywhere, standing, sitting, lying wherever they could, with suitcases, bodies and bags blocking every door and passageway. I struggled through for a flapjack and a latte and nipped into the toilet on the way back, the 3rd world travel experience was reinforced in there. The sink was full of water which meant that it slopped over the side every time the train rounded a corner or in fact moved at all, flooding the floor and seeping out into the passage. I pitied the squatters huddled around the door as I exited, they've probably paid a hundred pounds for this experience.
Its that time of year when we're encouraged to consider resolutions and self improvement plans, in a hope the coming year will actually see something achieved. Mine are simple enough, lose some of my 14 stones of weight, a stone and a half to be precise, and balance the books.
I'm going to achieve the first by sticking to a low carb diet, cutting out bread, potatoes, rice and pasta. Easier said than done when you rely on convenience food at work, its all sandwiches, pasta salads and shit that fills you up for an hour.
The second I will attempt by judicially noting every pound of spend and hopefully that will depress me so much I'll be happier locking myself in the flat rather than go anywhere spendy, like The Slug and Lettuce.
Oh, nearly forgot the most important one, bear in mind I'll be out of a job about the same time the final Olympic closing ceremony firework falls back to earth, I need to GET A JOB.
Lang may yer lum reek.
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