Give me Sunshine

Hallo skoorstene rook.

Today, continuing in a World Cup induced excitable burst of linguistic latitude, I greet you in Afrikaans.

I've had a good run, but this morning the weather finally turned to crap and it was chucking it down when I left the house this morning, which meant me wearing my raincoat of course, which is a bit like the one Eric Morcambe used to wear at the end of the Morcambe and Wise Show. You remember, little Ern would pretend that was the show finished to get rid of Eric so he could sing a song on his own, then Eric would appear in the background with his mac and carrier bag as if he was heading home. I'm smiling now thinking of that. Anyway, it was soaking, but it was still hot, I felt like Burma Bill.

I was heading to Tower Bridge to attend a forum on cloud computing, and yes, it was over my head too. So it meant taking the train, one that I hadn't been on before. It was horrendous. Crammed full of grumpy, wet and steaming commuters, all squeezed up against one another in an almost solid mass. I caught one guy, lucky enough to have a seat by the window, just looking dead eyed and resigned to his fate, grey face and chubby jowls pressed against the glass as his eventual hellish destination drew closer. I thought of animals on the way to slaughter and when I passed them in their trucks on the motorway. I saw sheep with that exact same look on their face as the guy at the window.

The forum was actually quite good overall, though the presenters were a bit hit and miss. I was always of the belief that a 25 minute presentation should probably have no more than about 20 slides, this one guy set some kind of record with an incredible 245, yes, two hundred and forty five, slides. It was very good though, entertaining, informative and funny, so good for him for not following convention.

I bailed out at lunchtime to get back to work. I opted for the Thames clipper service and thought it was brilliant. I was only one of four passengers , as opposed to the tube where I would have been crammed with about a thousand others a mile underground. The river was a bit rough though and there is quite a lot of traffic to negotiate as well, but I'll do it again.

Tell you something else, I discovered another bacon roll emporium that is right up there with the best ever. That makes three withing 250 yards of work. Some kind of Bacon Bap Golden triangle. Canteen, third place for them on value grounds at £4.50 it has to be good and it is, but Square Pie runs it close at £1.20 less, but even cheaper was Bone Bone at £2.20. Superb two slice of buttered bread, bacon, and that's it, sauce of course a no cost option. Bone Bone, the new Bacon Buttie blue ribbon holder.

I ended up finding a website with mis-spelt movie poster mock ups, very funny. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/misspelled-movies-part.php?page=1

There are some crackers on there.

The Drizzly Man. A man gives up his city life to live in the rain.

Pilate's of The Caribbean. Curse of the Back Curl, here lies the map to the treasure of inner core strength and body awareness.

Mystic Rivet, Childhood memories of three friends upset their plans to fix two pieces of metal.

About a Buoy, Hugh Grant stars in this nautical comedy.

The Ducks of Hazard, Yeehaw, Bo, Luke and Daisy Duck lead Boss Hog a merry waddle around Hazard farm

Band of Mothers, When the time came, the brotherhood of motherhood stood up and made tea.

and

Clownfall. The final weeks of the evil clown dictator in his underground big top.

Fell free to make your own contributions, I cant help myself now, I think i could pitch some of these to the studios.

After speaking about the odd words facebook asks me to confirm my identity with, last nights were brilliant

Goons Helmut. They must have created a computer with a sense of humour.

Lang may yer lum reek.